Witnessing to a Stranger

This conversation I had with a stranger on the website, www.omegle.com. Names, email addresses, or websites have been either changed or omitted.  The discussion begins when we began to discuss God.

You: How'd you hear of this site?

Stranger: A close friend of mine told me someone on this site may help me find my way

You: Find your way? Are you searching for something?

Stranger: I'm wondering about certain things. I may be the peppy cheerleader but... lets say that the cheer uniforms have long sleeves.. if you understand that.

You: Hmm. I'm not sure that I understand that to be honest.

Stranger: what would a certain currupt teen hide beneath sleeves

Stranger: ?

You: Oooh. I understand I think.

You: It's interesting though, that your friend would suggest this site for that. Most of the people on this site are searching for sexual gratification. Sometimes, you get decent people not looking for that.

Stranger: she found someone here and that person talked to her about things that she has not explained to me and she seemed to hope the same would happen for me

You: Ooh I see. Hmm.

You: So what are you wondering about? The certain things you mentioned before.

Stranger: I really dont know.

You: Do you believe in anything?

Stranger: In what sense.

You: God, heaven, hell, the Bible, afterlife, etc. Morals, values, etc.

Stranger: I believe in God. and his son our savior. heaven and hell are kind of "iffy" to me.

Stranger: My moral and values are kind of too many to name

You: heheh. Okay. You believe in God and His Son, our Savior. And who is His Son?

Stranger: Jesus Christ.

You: :-) And heaven and hell are iffy to you. Why is that?

Stranger: I don't see any life after death

Stranger: And, as those are the homes for the dead, i am not completely sure of them

You: Well, Heaven, as I'm sure you know, is the place where God dwells with Jesus. And this is the place God has prepared for His children. Hell is the place where those who rebel against God, go. People, when they die, will end up in one of these two places for eternity. If you think about it, Jesus is the Savior, but if there is no heaven or hell, then what was His purpose?

Stranger: I've never really thought like that

You: You see, God created hell only for the sole purpose to send the angels who rebelled against Him. I.e. Lucifer (Satan) and his followers.

You: God never wanted to send His most precious creation, us humans, to hell. But when we fell, when Adam sinned against God, we rebelled.

You: And because God is perfect, and no sin can enter into Heaven, He was left no choice but to send those who rebelled against Him, to hell.

Stranger: But those of us whom love God and cherish him shall exit this world and enter a perfect one?

You: This of course broke His heart. So, in order to save His creation, He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to earth, in the form of a human. Jesus took our punishment for sin upon Himself, so that we wouldn't have to pay the debt.

You: Honestly, being one who goes to heaven is rather simple. All you have to do is, A) Confess that you're a sinner, B.) Repent (turn away) from your sins, and C.) Admit that Jesus is Lord.

You: You see, being a good person and doing good things won't get someone into heaven. Works alone basically.

You: One must have faith.

You: It's kind of like this:

You: Let's say you were driving down the road. The speed limit was 25 mph, and you were going 60 mph. You got stopped and got a ticket for $60,000. You could not pay this debt. And of course, you can't look at the judge and say to him, "Judge, you're a good man. I don't think you will make me pay this fine because you're a good man." The judge would say, "Actually, it is because I'm a good man that I must make you pay this fine or I have to send you to jail."

You: Then suddenly, a man you don't even know walks into the court room with you, and pays your fine.

You: That's what Jesus did. You see, God is good, and because He is good, the breaking of His law must not go unpunished. Someone must pay that fine. Jesus paid it in full for all. He died upon the cross, took our punishment for our sin, so that we would be debt free.

You: Then, because we would be cleansed of our sin and debt to God, we could live happily in eternity with Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.

You: Does this make any sense to you?

Stranger: Actually, this is so clear that I am beginning to understand what I have been overlooking

Stranger: Faith and Hope are key, correct? As well as belief and repentance.

You: Right. Faith hope and love remain, but the greatest of these is Love.

You: Repentance is turning away from your sinful ways and turning to God, and following Him. Letting Him lead and guide you through life.

Stranger: I have a ring that says Hope and my friend had one that says Faith. I never understood what made me buy them. It's almost like i had the need to. It wasn't beauty, it wasnt price. I just loved them, they had an unknown meaning to me

You: Faith is important. Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen. It is by faith that we understand that the universe was formed at God's command so that what is seen was not made out of what was known.

Stranger: Well, Jimmy Wells, I believe im going to get off now. You have given me a new outlook and I thank u with my everything for it.

You: Of course. One last thing:

You: Meditate on this deeply: For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son. So that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life. God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him. Whoever believes in Him is not condemned but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son.

You: And insert your name personally into it.

Stranger: John 3:16

You: And Stranger, if ever you want to talk, discuss, email me. jim41088@gmail.com.

You: yes John 3:16. It's a common verse indeed, but once you meditate on it, it's deep.

Stranger: it have it written on my wall.

Stranger: i love it.

You: :-) awesome.

Stranger: i have it memorized.

You: :-D me too!

You: Well I won't keep you longer, but I would be pleased to hear from you in an email sometime.

You: There is a path for you Stranger. God loves you and He wants you. He died for you and wants you with Him in eternity someday.

You: Grace and peace be with you in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, our King and Savior.

Stranger: Jimmy, i do believe God put u in this world to save and educate

Stranger: May he be with you every step of the way.

You: I hope He did.

You: Thank you. :-)

Stranger: Goodbye my friend

You: God bless.

Feel free to leave comments.

Witnessing to Strangers

This conversation I had with a stranger on the website, www.omegle.com.


You: hi

Stranger: hi

You: Do you think you're a good person?

Stranger: well sorta to people at least but i dont think i make any great contributions or anything

Stranger: i just dont act mean

You: So, if you died, where do you think you would go, heaven or hell? (Let's assume they exist)

Stranger: hell

You: Why?

Stranger: because im nice to people i know

Stranger: but when i t comes to other things im not

Stranger: such as i i somtimes have taken things from stores

Stranger: and i hop the train

You: So you haven't kept say the Ten Commandments?

Stranger: are asking if i follow them?

You: Asking if you've broken them.

Stranger: ofcourse ive broken them and im pretty sure every one in the world has broken them

You: I agree.

You: The Ten Commandments are God's Law. And if His law is broken, there is punishment. You've already said you've broken them, and that you feel you're going to hell. Does that concern you at all?

Stranger: well not exactly im in that stage were im not sure if any of that is real im in between deciding between any religion or atheism i think its called agnostic or somthing..

You: Right. Agnostic.

Stranger: ive started breaking more commandments ever since i questioned it

You: But as an agnostic, you entertain the idea that God might be real. That the Bible is true. You're seeking God while at the same time, running from Him.

Stranger: well im not seeking him but im not sure if hes real or not cause there arnt really any explinations

Stranger: its like im just waiting for somthing to happen

You: I have broken every commandment of the Ten. I've lied, stolen, blasphemed, murdered, commited adultery, envied, dishonored my parents, forgot the sabbath, had idols, and I've not loved God first and foremost.

Stranger: well everythingg else in my eyes is fine except murder

You: In the eyes of God, none of those things are fine.

Stranger: unless it was slef defence its alright

Stranger: if it was i mean

You: But, you said you're waiting to see if God reveals Himself to you. but I tell you, for those who seek, shall find.

Stranger: well im gonna seek and i really dont want to if he truly exist and loves every one of his people he shall seek me

Stranger: im not*

You: Oh He is seeking you. Have you ever heard of heart's door?

Stranger: no

You: It's basically a metaphore speaking the Truth that God as at your heart's door, knocking.

You: But the thing about this is,

You: He can't open the door.

You: You have to be the one opening that door to allow Him entrance.

You: God is a gentlemen. If He knocks, and you tell Him to go away, He will. He may come back later on and knock, but after so many times in your life of you telling Him to go away, He will.

You: God is seeking you. It says in the Bible that a sherpherd will leave His entire flock to find the lost sheep.

You: You, to God, are the lost sheep.

You: This conversation right now, stranger, is a knock on your door.

Stranger: well if im the lost sheep he should come and if he truly wants me he should try even harder becuase if i did beleive in him would you still be the knock on my door?

You: If you weren't right with God, and yet you still believed in Him, then yes, this would be, and is, your knock.

You: As I said, God is a gentlemen. He does want you very badly. He allowed His Son to die on the cross, He allowed His Son to take your punishment, the breaking of the Law, upon Himself, so that you wouldn't have to. If that is not God trying hard enough, then I don't know what is.

You: Do you know what I'm referring to when I mention God's Son?

Stranger: jesus if im not mistaken

You: You are correct. Do you know who Jesus is and what He did?

Stranger: i know who he is and know a bit about him

Sadly, it was at this point that the stranger disconnected our conversation.

Pro Life!

The process of a partial birth abortion begins when the doctor places the woman before him. He gently inserts forceps into the womb and turns the baby so that the feet will exit the birth canal first. The doctor expertly delivers the entire body of the baby save for the head, and as he holds the squirming baby in one hand, he deftly stabs a pair of scissors into the base of the innocent baby’s skull. Studies by AGI show that only forty days after conception, the developing baby can sense touch. At four and one half months, when a partial birth abortion commonly takes place, a baby can experience pain. With the scissors inserted in the skull of the baby, the doctor then widens the scissors to broaden the opening. When the cavity expands enough, the doctor enters a suction catheter, which immediately sucks out the brains causing the skull to collapse. The doctor continues to remove the remainder of the baby from the former mother’s womb.
On July 11, 1995, AMA’s official journal submitted a tape-recorded interview with abortionist Dr. Martin Haskell, in which he states, “…The majority of fetuses aborted this way are alive until the end of the procedure.” This type of abortion, performed many thousands of times a year, victimizes babies in their trimester or ninth month. According to Merrian-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary, Abortion is the termination of a pregnancy after, accompanied by, resulting in, or closely followed by the death of the embryo or fetus. At the moment of conception, an entire life begins, and to abort this innocent life is murder.
You may argue about the child with a lifelong disease who will die a slow death or live his life as a burden to his family? He will have no friends. He will not go to college. He will not lead a successful life. Some argue that the population boom can lead to problems such as not being able to feed the people we have now. Or in cases such as rape or incest, trauma closes in on the sanity of the woman. How can she possibly give birth to a child conceived like that?
To answer a question with a question, in response to the diseased child, should we end the life of all the people with disabilities who burden loved ones? Are we to say that these children will not experience the love of someone else who cares? Are we to say that when an elderly mother, who raised her children from birth with the utmost care, falls ill, we are to abort her life? Are we to say that people who long to care and provide and love these disabled ones lead a meaningless and pointless life of sympathy for the sick? If these statements speak truth, then why do we have doctors? Why not hire more executioners?
I do not believe that we will have much of a problem with feeding the population of America. The population growth of the world grows one percent a year, however, statistics on www.census.gov show that the population in America declines annually, not including immigration. The population growth equaling the current number of reproductive age individuals over the number of babies being born results in the American population decent.
The trauma from rape or incest will live forever with the woman whether she decides to murder her newly conceived baby or not. Why return the violence of killing a baby for the violence of rape? Legalizing abortion due to rape and/or incest provides the mother with an emotional screen, which in the end will not have erased the past.
On January 22, 1973, the U.S. Supreme Court legalized abortion in the famous Roe v. Wade decision. By a vote of seven to two, the U.S. Supreme Court held that until a child in the womb can sustain his own life, the mother’s wish for an abortion should take authority over the baby’s right to life. The state can protect the unborn unless the mother’s physical, emotional, or psychological health, life, age, marital status, or the babies’ probability of a distressful life and/or future provides a way of escape for the mother. Basically the court granted the mother permission to legally kill her children up to the time of birth. If abortion isn’t murder, then why can someone murder a pregnant woman and suffer two murder charges? The murderer wronged the woman; shouldn’t that mean that a woman wrongs a child that she aborts?
According to former Surgeon General, Dr. C. Everett Koop, abortion provides a pathway to convenience. Only three to five percent of the reasons for abortions include rape, incest, the possibility of a deformed or disabled child, and the possible threat of a mother’s life.
Between the years of 1973, where 744,600 abortions were performed, to 1996, where 1, 400,000 abortions were performed; a stunning 35,273,792 babies have been killed without the right to life. Scientists have proven that the heartbeat of the fetus begins twenty-one days after conception and that the brain can function as early as forty days after conception.
For one to say, “Pro-family, pro-child, pro-choice,” states that they advocate the choice to kill innocent unborn children. Portraying such a thing is as logical as saying “Pro-women, Pro-rape.” The whole ordeal reeks with absurdity.
In closing, one cannot prohibit the issue of abortion from moral standards. To eliminate abortion from any form of morality excludes it from decency. We have laws in the United States that forbids anyone to murder, steal from, rape, or molest anyone else. These laws stem from morality, as does the movement to stop abortion. We live in a democracy, which means we, the people, have a voice. Our voice can put an end to abortion to provide an opportunity for life. With the voice of the people we can change the choice of those who desire to abort a life not yet lived.

Broken Heart

Broken and shattered
Fallen to the ground
Cracked and splintered
Spread all around

Failing adhesives
Tape, glue, and nails
Strained attachments
Blind infidels

Very few things
Exist today
That can surgically fix
Cold hearts of clay

A bludgeoned heart
Torn by sins
Can be healed
When Jesus wins

Not in front of the kids!

I think it is awesome that fighting, arguments, and anger in a relationship/marriage isn't something we're supposed to ignore, cover up, or dismiss. Although anger and conflict in a marriage is not pleasant, it can be helpful. We sometimes have a tendency, no matter how open a relationship is, to bottle things up. These can sometimes range from thoughts or annoyances between the couple or even events or people outside of the marriage. For instance, the best friend of the husband dies, it's natural for him to close himself up, or distance himself from everyone, including his wife. And although that is understandable, it still affects the wife in a negative way, which can lead to conflict on down the road. Of course, this is where communication can be helpful. Sometimes, I feel, forcing communication within a relationship is necessary. To point, a conflict, if handled properly, can make someone open up. The wife will complain to her husband that she feels alone. He may lash out because he feels convicted of that fact, however, when he does, he will also be opening up.
When conflict within a marriage occurs, I think the best course of action is communication, paying attention, and learning. Sadly, when a couple gets into a fight, the last person on their mind to please or sympathize with is their spouse. Perhaps that is the very best thing to do.

The Void

I think a good deal of us out there have a hole in our life or heart. So many times in so many ways, we, even as Christians, attempt to fill that hole in our life by secular ungodly means. Sometimes, we may not even recognize the hole to begin with. Filler substitutes such as food, sex, drugs, alcohol, games, spending money, working, and more, work to replace the emptiness inside. Some Christians, I've noticed, fill that hole in their hearts with charity or missions, while at the same time neglecting their families, husbands, wives, and kids. What we need to first realize is that there is a hole in our lives, in our hearts, and then realize that there is nothing in this world, produced by ourselves or by someone else, that can possibly fill that void. We need to stop working to fill that empty space by ungodly means and finally allow Jesus Christ to be our everything. I have a friend who struggles with being alone and single. Although he doesn't realize the void, he fulfills himself in unconventional ways he knows is wrong. He thinks that if he were to get a girlfriend or wife, he wouldn't have a problem anymore. She would be there to help him grow and mature, but the problem is, he has a hole in his heart and he expects a wife to fill that void; his mistake is that there is nothing and no one that can fulfill him except for Jesus Christ.

Falling Short

I understand, and am also challenged by, bondage of sin. To me, it is important, that no matter who the person is, whether it be someone I am counseling, witnessing to, or giving spiritual advice, it is important that they understand their sinful nature. As humans, we are born with the seed passed down from Adam. We are born naturally "evil," so to say, or with a sinful nature. Regardless, we are born without God's Holy Spirit. This in turn, however, is not an excuse, but more of an explanation. We need to first recognize our nature and that we fall short of the Glory of God. Afterward, we need to repent, which means to turn away from our sinful nature, and accept Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. It is my opinion that a person cannot be rehabilitated, healed, saved, or corrected until they first understand what they've done wrong or where and why they fall short.

She's gone

I had thought, in my young and dumb age, that if I just applied the bible to everything I ran into in a counseling session, everything would be alright. And although I still believe that I should certainly apply the Bible, I have a different perspective. Not everything will always be alright. Just recently: there was a couple who I went to high school with. I knew them both vaguely. After graduation, they got married and had a child, who is now one year old. About a month ago, the wife went missing. Just a few nights ago, not two minutes from where I live, the husband lead the police to where he buried her body. I ask myself: how could I counsel the mother of the girl who was killed? Sure I could refer to the Bible, but how can I tell her to forgive? Do you know what's sad? The other night, it took someone talking to me about it who isn't a Christian to make me realize that I wasn't being very Christ-like in my thoughts towards the husband. That was very humbling. I'm not saying counseling someone in such a position wouldn't be possible, it would just be more difficult. What if their daughter was older, in her teens? How in the world could I counsel a teenage girl whose mother was murdered by her father on her birthday? It would be hard. Incredibly hard.
Although I haven't gotten all the way through all my lessons, I've come to the realization that there are going to be hard cases. There are going to be times when perhaps, I am just not qualified.

Abstract

Humans have a natural tendency towards sin called a sinful nature, or original sin, or natural corruption. Every human being is caught in sin and is in need of the grace and forgiveness of Christ Jesus. Afterwards, the new born Christian can reap the blessings God has to offer.

COUNSELING THOSE TO THE PATH OF RESTORATION

Conservative biblical theology has revealed many aspects to the human condition laid out in the Bible. Fundamental Christian counseling should reveal to counselees their natural tendency towards sin and their natural human depravity. Counselors should lay out a person’s need for Christ and guide a counselee(s) to overcoming the sin in his or her life. The counselor’s job is to show love and understanding towards those he and she counsels and to not show or project judgment.

Human Nature

God created Adam physically and spiritually alive. The Lord dwelled inside of Adam and it was said that Adam walked with God. However, when Adam sinned, he died spiritually, as God warned him that he would. God cursed Adam, even to the very ground he walked on resulting in the fallen world we see around us (Anderson, 2003).

Origin of Sin

First, it is imperative to understand and to help the counselee understand that God is not to be blamed for the corruption and sin in the world. It must be understood that He is “the Rock! His work is perfect, for all His ways are just; a God of faithfulness and without injustice, righteousness and upright is He” (Deut. 32:4, New American Standard Version). Before Adam, sin was present in the angelic realm when Satan fell, his followers in tow (Grudem, 1994). Concerning Adam and Eve, however, sin struck at the basis for moral standards providing an alternative answer to the question “What is right?” Lucifer presented Eve with an alternative scenario causing her to doubt the words of God. He opened to her an opportunity to be like God by eating of the tree of knowledge of good and evil. When Satan tempted Eve, instead of going to God and inquiring with Him about it, she trusted herself and the words of the Liar and she ate of the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Adam soon thereafter ate also and by this gave a different answer to the question “Who am I?” No longer does Man see themselves as creatures of Christ and dependent on the King: subordinate to Abba Father.

Inherited Guilt of Sin

Adam represented all of mankind at the time that he was tested as it references to in Romans chapter five verse twelve: “Therefore, just as through one man sin entered into the world, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men, because all sinned” (New American Standard Bible). People, ever since the Fall, inherit the guilt and tendency to sin from Adam (Grudem, 1994). Some have argued that it is unfair that all mankind should be represented by the sin of Adam; however, in that case, it would also be unfair to say that Christians should be represented by the death and resurrection of the Lamb of God.

“Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin my mother conceived me” (Ps. 51:5, New American Standard Bible). King David was so aware of his sin that he confessed to be a sinner from birth. David is not assigning responsibility to his mother but to himself as portrayed in the former verses, “Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. For I know my transgressions and my sin is ever before me” (Ps. 51:2-3, New American Standard Bible, emphasis added). A similar reference to corruption at birth is found in Psalms chapter fifty-eight verse three where it says, “The wicked are estranged from the womb; these who speak lies go astray from birth.” The apostle Paul further affirms that we have a disposition to sin when he said, “Among them we too all formerly lived in the lusts of our flesh, indulging the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, even as the rest” (Eph. 2:3). However, humans are not entirely chaotic as they have certain aspects of survival, surroundings, and the environment keeping them at bay; these would also include civil law, family and society expectations, and our conscience (Rom. 2:14-15). As John MacArthur stated in his book Thinking Biblically (2003), “The inability to love, obey, and please God is the very essence of human depravity.”

Overcoming Sin and the Need for Christ

When a counselee is caught in sin or admits to sinning, the counselor’s job is not to condemn him or her or to accuse him or her but to show love, sympathy, and understanding (Anderson, 2003). Romans supports the counselor’s duty biblically by stating, “Therefore there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (8:1 New American Standard Bible).

Furthermore, it must be understood that the counselee must choose to live for God as Paul mentioned in Romans chapter six verse eleven, “Even so consider yourselves to be dead to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus.” To the benefit of the Christian counselee, make aware that one should not listen to Satan. He will first practice temptation, then, if his victim gives into sin, he will condemn him or her and attack his or her self worth. The key is not to try and solve or take away someone’s flesh patterns or eliminate bad behavior, at least not at first. The main objective concerns guiding the counselee into finding his or her identity in Christ Jesus. A Christian therapist needs to first resolve the counselee’s personal and spiritual conflict. Taking away the shopaholic’s money does not fix the problem for the hole he or she had is still there and he or she may only find another unhealthy way to fill it.

Struggling Christians need help understanding their salvation. There have been times when a Christian who had been defeated by sin thought that they were not saved. However, this could not be the case, as a Christian therapist would point out, else they wouldn’t even be worried about it. Some Christians who stumble fear that they have committed the unforgivable sin; however, the job of Christ’s advocate is to help them realize that that is not possible.

Repentance and Freedom from Sin

Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death. For what the Law could not do, weak as it was through the flesh, God did: sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and as an offering for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh, so that the requirement of the Law might be fulfilled in us, who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. For those who are according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace, because the mind set on the flesh is hostile toward God; for it does not subject itself to the law of God, for it is not even able to do so, and those who are in the flesh cannot please God (Rom. 8:1-8, New American Standard Bible).

Once a counselee sees their sin and acknowledges it, the last and final step is to repent, which means to turn away. God wants them to turn away from their sin. Once a person turns away from sin and receives Christ into their heart, it is being born again which has a much more significant meaning now that it is known that all humans are born spiritually dead. Offer the encouragement to savor the moment they realize that Christ is in them and they are spiritually alive in Him. A counselor may find joy when they guide their counselee to understand that they indeed have a place in Heaven, written in the Book of Life. When a person repents, calls upon the Lord and is forgiven, they are filled with the Holy Spirit and that is one of the many blessings God offers His children. Celebrate the freedom of bondage of sin, guilt, and glorify Jesus. It should be explained, as is portrayed in the Bible time and time again that repentance is death to the old self and life is birth to the new self.

References

Anderson, Neil T. (2003). Discipleship Counseling: The Complete Guide to helping Others Walk in Freedom and Grow in Christ. Ventura: Regal Books From Gospel Light.

Grudem, Wayne. (1994). Systematic Theology: An Introduction to Biblical Doctrine. Leicester: Inter-Varsity Press.

MacArthur, John. (2003). Thinking Biblically: Recovering a Christian Worldview. Wheaton: Crossway Books.

Abstract

Divorce can have a significant impact on the well being of each member of the involved family, particularly the development of children and adolescents. The result of divorce affects many aspects of a person’s life, including the parent-child relationship, emotions and behavior, mental development, and future relationships. As stated by Robert Hughes, Jr. PhD, the divorce rate in America has been rising during the 20th (Source: Patten, Peggy. (1999). Divorce and Children Part I: An Interview with Robert Hughes, Jr., PhD. ParentNews).

Devastation of Divorce

As a result of divorce, younger children may become uncooperative, depressed, or angry. In an excerpt from Family Education, a woman describes the issues she had with her four year old niece. The little girl began to hit, bite, and misbehave as she missed the family unit as she once knew it (Shari Nethersole, M.D.). This incident is an example of a common outcome of divorce on children. It is possible that divorce may result in difficulties with controlling emotions and behavior. These effects can influence the parent-child relationship and possibly any relationships that take place long after adolescents. Divorce can leave a scar on everyone’s heart. At the beginning, the husband and wife were in love and happy. In the end, they saw each other with hate in their hearts, disgust on their tongues, and hurt feelings. The children part with at least one of the parents emotionally tearing them apart. Confusion, distrust, and self blame are quick to follow.
Marriage is the union of one man and one woman under God. Marriage is when a man and woman establish their decision to live as one flesh, as husband and wife, to love one another through thickness and thin, sickness and health, until death due them part. The biblical portrait of marriage reflects the relationship between Christ and His bride, the church (New American Standard Bible, Matt. 25:1-13). Divorce is unbiblical and a sin in the eyes of God (Malachi 2:16). As any sin, divorce will also hinder a Christian’s walk with the Lord.

Statistics

During the 20th century, the divorce rate in America alone has been on the rise reaching its most recent climax in the 1970s. However, since the 1970s, the divorce rate has been decreasing. Studies reveal that for every 1,000 women past the age of fifteen, twenty get a divorce; as opposed to 1978 when the peak of divorce was twenty three women per every 1,000 women. Sadly, the rate now is still higher than the rate of divorce throughout the 1950s; about five per 1,000 women. Almost every country in the world is suffering from a rising divorce rate. Two chief factors affecting the increasing divorce rate in the United States are the lesser dependencies spouses feel when it comes to their economical survival and the growing use of birth control, giving couples more sexual freedom.
Future marriages are more probable to remain intact because the United States population, as well as those countries around the world, is aging. Furthermore, an escalating number of young adults are cohabitating outside of marriage. If this sort of relationship does not last, it is not recorded as a divorce, however, that does not go to say that there are not children equally affected (Robert Hughes, Jr, PhD).

Affects on children

Mothers who experience a recent divorce may show degrees of disorganization, anger, and the lack of behavioral expectations of children. This leads to a disturbance of the parent-child relationship. Because of this disruption, some children will experience emotional and behavior issues. For example, hitting and biting a loved one, a teacher, a friend, or even themselves. Depending on the child’s age, they may feel rage, grief, guilt, and dejection, a sense of powerlessness, panic, or even emotional regression. Studies show that between the ages of six and eight children will likely fantasize and believe that their parents will come together again displaying a lack of recognition of the divorce. Between ages eight and eleven, children will display anger and frustration at feeling helpless and during adolescents, depression befalls them possibly leading to suicide (Eleoff, Sara).

Possible Solutions

Many precautions can be taken to help prevent a divorce from splitting a family apart (Family Dynamics Institute, 2009). The first and foremost preventative action that can be taken is to either accept Jesus as Lord and Savior or, if already saved, make Jesus the center of the relationship. If either spouse within the marriage takes their eyes and focus from God, they will begin to sink, just as Peter did in the Bible. Secondly, before marriage, it is better to abstain from sexual relations. Not only is sex before marriage a sin, but it also stains the purity of the love and the relationship. God created sex to be a good thing but only within marriage. Thirdly, also before marriage, a couple should not participate in cohabitation. It is often believed today that by two people living together before marriage will help them decide whether or not the person they are living with is someone they want to spend the rest of their lives with. “Cohabitation is simply a way to enjoy regular sex with a dependable partner minus the hassles of dating,” (Henslin, 2008).
Once married a couple should put a lot of focus towards communication. One majority complaint of spouses is that their partner doesn’t listen to them (Chapman, 2004). Lastly, a good decision for both partners to make is to ignore the consideration and possibility of divorce no matter the situation. If divorce was seen as something that was not an option even before marriage, spouses would likely be more supportive, loving, and loyal to one another. At a divorce rate so incredibly high, divorce is only seen as a means of convenience.

Role of the Family

The role of the family to help prevent divorce, or in the case of divorce, is first and foremost, love. An effort to help prevent divorce should be taken but if a divorce takes place and all sides are hurt, love and support will lead the way to healing. As parents, a couple recently divorced should keep their differences in private, away from the child or children. In such a case, children need love and assurance from both parents cooperatively. For children to see their parents argue and hate each other only harms the child, emotionally and mentally. As for the couple, it is best to separate as civilly as possible. Both are likely heartbroken and there is no cause to add fuel to the fire.

Role of the Community

As far as fault and blame are concerned, the community plays a relatively significant part. Sexual appealing magazines in convenient stores, nakedness of a sexual nature on television and commercials, exotic highway billboards, and easily accessible pornography on the internet are examples of the temptations that can lead to adultery. Movies also portray false life situations such as love at first sight, sex before marriage as acceptable, bastard children, and divorce as an acceptable means of ease. Solutions the community could work on would be eliminating sexually explicit material, sinful displays of life, and encouragement to the vows of marriage.

Role of the Church

The role of the church is both broad and narrow. On a broad aspect, the church should encourage more fellowship, love, and communication. For a more narrow approach, the church should offer marriage counseling, marriage seminars, marriage help groups, and even possibly help with family retreats. Pastors should not fear to preach on the blessings of marriage and the disasters and sins of divorce. The fellowship of the church may also aid married couples and pre-marital couples to participate in what the church offers.

Conclusion

Divorce is high in the United States and around the world. What is more devastating is that the divorce rate among Christians is also equally high. Christians are to be the salt and light of the world. Married Christian couples are meant to lead and guide those who aren’t married into a more rewarding relationship. Divorce of a family, no matter the culture, the background, the religion, or the social status affects everyone directly and indirectly in a negative normally harmful way.

References

Chapman, Gary. (2004). The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. Chicago: Northfield Publishing.

Eleoff, Sara, (n.d.) The Child Advocate. Retrieved October 9, 2009, from The Pennsylvania State University College of Medicine, the Child Advocare website: http://www.childadvocate.net/divorce_effects_on_children.htm.

Family Dynamics Institute, 2009. Comprehensive Marriage Ministry. Retrieved October 9, 2009, from http://www.familydynamics.net/.

Henslin, James M. (2008). Social Problems: A Down-To-Earth Approach. Boston: Pearson Custom Publishing.

Nethersole, Shari, M.D. (n.d.), Family Education. Retrieved October 8, 2009, from http://life.familyeducation.com/divorce/behavioral-problems/42210.html

Patten, Peggy. (1999), Health. Retrieved October 4, 2009, from http://www.athealth.com/consumer/disorders/childrendivorce.html

Refutation to McCloskey

H. J. McCloskey in On Being an Atheist argues in favor of atheism and attempts to discredit theism. He uses many tactful approaches in disputing theism such as the arguments for God as a whole failing to establish a case for God. Focusing on the Cosmological argument, McCloskey claims that the existence of all that we see fulfills no grounds for there to exist a God or necessary being. He furthers the argument by stating that the cosmological argument gives us, as humans, no right to assume that a necessary being or God exists. Furthermore, McCloskey debates the Teleological argument by claiming that in order to believe that nature was designed there would need to be examples that were indisputable. Moreover, he delves into the problem of evil, bringing one of the most disputed and difficult cases to the table. His main objection to theism contains the fact that evil exists. He asks how evil could exist if an omnipotent God existed as well. The argument of evil and why it exists inevitably leads to the concept of free will of which he also asks why God allowed it or couldn’t have kept human beings from making wrong decisions. Lastly, McCloskey attempts to explain his argument that atheism produces more comfort and satisfaction than theism. He uses the example of illness and says God either cannot stop it from happening, allows it to happen, or deliberately gives an illness to someone.

For McCloskey’s first argument, that of abandoning of some proofs because they are inadequate, I challenge by stating that any argument for God may not be absolutely solid but all the legitimate arguments for God brought together form a convincing and unyielding argument. The best explanations approach states that the existence of God is the best explanation for what we see, observe, know, and don’t know of the universe surrounding us. Basically, a moral, intelligent, personal, necessary being, God, is the best explanation for what we experience in the universe.

Secondly, McCloskey argues that just because the world exists does not mean a necessary being or cause has to exist as well. However, anything and everything that we observe in the universe does not need to exist, but does. More so, the objects in the universe, separately or as a whole as the entire universe, exist, but could easily not exist. That, in turn, leaves no reason why our universe exists. Basically, what we see, observe, and know are not things that had to exist necessarily. The universe is contingent which means it is liable to happen, to have been caused, or not. Therefore, to have a contingent object or being requires that there be a cause or necessary being. This necessary being must not be able to cease to exist for if it could cease to exist, which means it has or had an end, then that would imply that it indeed had a beginning. And for anything that has a beginning must therefore have been created or caused. The argument is as follows: some contingent beings exist, and if they exist then a necessary being must exist because, as we discussed, contingent beings require a necessary being to have caused them. Therefore, there must be a necessary being which is the cause of the contingent beings (Evans). As for a common objection, if everything requires a cause then God also requires a cause We argue that God is not a contingent being. Besides, only a self-existent or necessary being can be thought of as God (Evans).

McCloskey furthers his refutation against the cosmological argument by stating that it “does not entitle us to postulate an all-powerful, all-perfect, uncaused cause.” (McCloskey) However, if someone accepts the cosmological argument, then he or she should inherit a desire to search and learn more about the Creator (Evans).

After McCloskey’s claims against the cosmological argument, he transitions his focus to the teleological argument claiming that to approach this argument or proof, indisputable examples of design and purpose would be required. I disagree in that to give any example shows the possibility of a creator, whether the example is disputed or not. Although an example may lay prone to argumentation and disputation, there generally exists an argument in favor of the example, a refutation of the disputation if you will. To give an example of design or purpose would then make it possible that there is a Designer; for if it is possible that there is a God, then God must be necessary. To state Malcolm’s version of a necessary being, if God exists, His existence is necessary. But if God does not exist, then His existence is impossible completely. So either God exists, or He does not exist and God’s existence is either necessary or impossible. Because we can give examples, God’s existence is then possible meaning, conclusively, God’s existence is necessary (Evans). McCloskey also goes on to claim that evolution has disqualified and dismissed the need for a Creator or Designer. Even if evolution were true, as I don’t believe it is, it is indeed a process following the laws of nature whose ultimate outcome is beneficial. Just as a print machine uses a process to produce several copies of a particular document and has a creator, someone who designed the print machine, so the process of evolution would also have a designer. God cannot do something that is impossible. He, for instance, cannot make a square circle or round rectangle (Evans). So the imperfection and evil in the world do not count against the divine design.

From there, McCloskey then moves to the problem of evil in and of the world.

No being who was perfect could have created a world in which there was unavoidable suffering or in which his creatures would (and in fact could have been created so as not to) engage in morally evil acts, acts which very often result in injury to innocent persons (McCloskey).

To define first, as is within the logical form of the problem of evil, moral evil is caused by the actions of free, morally responsible beings. Natural evil, however, appears to be evil that does not occur as a result of a responsibly moral being. Theodicy attempts to show that God is justified in allowing evil. It explains that God allows evil and possibly that He has good reasons for doing so. Evans referred to Alvin Plantinga who claimed that God may have reasons for allowing evil that we don’t or can’t know.

Another thought refers to the idea that the amount of good in the world ultimately outweighs the bad and evil in the world. For example, something bad happens; but because of it’s happening, a greater good is achieved and therefore the good outweighs the bad (Evans). Another argument is that some of the first order evils in the world, namely natural evil, happen in order to produce or provoke second order virtues. For example, a first order evil occurs, perhaps such as a grizzly charging a man’s daughter; perhaps a second order virtue, courage, is provoked and therefore produced when the man charges the bear waving his arms around to scare the bear off. Or, if the bear gets the girl, which would be an evil, perseverance and reliance on Christ could be the second order virtue of the man. You may ask, then, what of the second order evils that occur, those opposite of the virtues, such as cowardice? This is basically the result of the mistakes of Man and his poor use of free choice (Evans).

This then leads us to McCloskey’s discussion of free will where he asks why God did not arrange so that man always chooses the right choice. His argument, however, is not logical. If God said that everyone would always choose the correct path of A, then no one really would have any free will seeing as how free will would give everyone the option to also not choose path A (Evans). As Evans stated in his book, Philosophy of Religion: Thinking About Faith, “God is said to allow freedom because without it humans could not be morally responsible agents, capable of freely doing good by responding to and loving their Creator,” (135-136). McCloskey states that theists cannot always argue that free will and necessitation to virtue are incompatible, for they represent God himself as possessing a free will and as being incapable of acting immorally. If this can be the case with God, why can it not be so with all free agents (McCloskey)? One interesting point McCloskey is overlooking, however, is that God, possessing free will and the necessitation to virtue, is good. Man, however, since the fall of Adam, is not naturally good.

Finally, McCloskey, as he closed his article, claimed that atheism is more comforting than theism. He argues that it would not be comforting to know that God was responsible for the illness that befell a loved one; or that God was to account for the death of a child or the cancer of a mother. He argues that it would be much more comforting to know that these issues came by chance and was not able to be helped or stopped. I disagree. I don’t believe that it would be comforting to be diagnosed with a terminal illness and not believe in an afterlife in heaven. I do not believe that a person could find comfort in believing that they were going to cease to exist completely, other than by memory of others alone. It is not comforting, in my opinion, to believe that there are no basis for values or morals; that we have no grounds for right or wrong. As Craig so brilliantly put it, “...it is impossible to condemn war, oppression, or crime as evil. Nor can one praise brotherhood, equality, and love as good. For in a universe without God, good and evil do not exist---there is only the bare valueless fact of existence, and there is no one to say that you are right and I am wrong.” Is that the kind of world we want: A world without God? I find absolutely no comfort in the thought of a Godless world.

Works Cited

Craig, William Lane. Reasonable Faith: Christian Truth and Apologetics. “The Absurdity of Life Without God.” Wheaton, TL: Crossway Books, 2008.

Evans, C. Stephen. Philosophy of Religion: Thinking About Faith. Downers Grove, Illinois: IVP Academic, 1982.

McCloskey, H. J. “On Being An Atheist.” 1968.