Growing up

To a lot of people, especially the younger generation, growing up is a big deal. From the time we were children, it has always been asked of us, "What will you be when you grow up?" I think that questions like that do strengthen us as children to have dreams and strive to make those dreams happen. It prepares in a way.
However, one thing I have begun to notice as I get dreadfully older is that one thing I was not prepared for was loss. I never thought of the fact that by me getting older, so was everyone else. This is when the reality of loosing a loved one comes into play. Grandparents get older and will eventually die. Parents, uncles, and aunts will as well. Then siblings and cousins. Not to mention the brutal deaths of some which could include early deaths of your spouse, your nephews and nieces, perhaps even your own children. That is just family. You will also loose friends.
I was never prepared for any of this. I wasn't prepared for my friend's death. We're not even sure what the cause of death was yet. Then, exactly one week after her death I had another friend commit suicide. I wasn't prepared for that. Recently, my friend's dad passed away in what seems to be an early brutal death. My dad is still alive and I love him dearly...but I got to thinking that when you loose someone, is it even possible to not think you could have been there for them more, could have spent more time with them, could have known them better? Is it possible not to regret? Is it possible to feel that, even though you couldn't prevent their death, that maybe, when they were alive, you could have made a bigger difference? Is it possible to use that and begin to make a difference in the people you do have left in your life?
I am a Christian indeed and I have very big and very good news to tell people...but have I? regrettably, no. My first friend I did try and talk to her. I, however, didn't push. I wish I would have. As for my second friend, I feel most burdened about. My uncle asked me time and time again to talk to the guy about God. To perhaps even hang with him and try to influence him. Did I? Not really. I tried, once to strike up a conversation with him about God, but it wasn't the right time. But because I didn't push, look what happened. I waited too long. Now he is gone and I will never get that chance back. So, from what I understand, and I hope I'm wrong somehow, but I don't think he, or she, are in a good place. I feel responsible for this. I could have at least tried.
The thought of this brings me to another state of mind. I had better get a move on. I had better start telling people, especially those I am close to, of the good news I have for them. Am I strong enough for that though? No. But neither was David, Moses, or Noah. Am I afraid to do it? of course. I could loose friends and family due to this Truth that I hold.
You know something though? I can't save everyone; I can't save anyone actually. My point is, however, that I should at least try. Right? I think so.