Relationships

Dr. Time Clinton’s and Dr. Gary Sibcy’s book “Why You Do the Things You Do,” highlighted that every person develops a relationship style stemming from childhood. Clinton and Sibcy touched base with four different relationship styles: secure, ambivalent, avoidant, and disorganized. The most solid relationship style is secure, and Clinton and Sibcy explain that no matter which relationship style a person finds themselves in, there is hope to develop a healthy secure relationship style.
Clinton illuminated that babies have a special relationship with their parents, particularly the mother. This relationship will largely affect a person’s relationship weaknesses and strengths. As a child, my parents fostered a secure bond with me, without too much smothering and with just enough space. As a Christian, I feel secure in my Father in Heaven, but I struggle with idols of the heart, which sometimes becomes a stumbling block in my relationship with God.
Those with the secure attachment style easily feel that they are worthy of love, are capable of getting love, and that others are willing and able to love them. One of the most prominent characteristics of a secure person is the ability to experience the whole field of emotions and the capability to express them effectively. Secure people do not feel the need to earn their self worth. They were raised in an environment where other people respected their feelings. Because of this, secure people find it easy to respect the feelings of others. They’re confident that they can affect the feelings of other people without any manipulation, and still get their desires across. Those with a secure relationship style do not fear emotions from themselves or from anyone else. They have no qualms with seeking and accepting comfort from other people and they act when action is needed. Although my parents did well with me, even though they were divorced since I was three years old, I feel I was raised and parented as a secure relationship style. It have been through events in my life, relationship failures, that has led me astray from a secure attachment style. It could also be due to the fact that although my parents did well raising me, as far as emotional connection was concerned, I still took in that they were divorced and I have feared that happening to me with my own relationships.
Beliefs that fuel the ambivalent relationship style include a feeling of unworthiness and the feeling that they’re flawed and unable to receive love from anyone. The person with the ambivalent attachment style feels that the people they love give off the impression that they’re on borrowed time and that at any moment will be left and abandoned. People who have the ambivalent relationship style fear abandonment. They also feel that in order to win the approval and acceptance of others, they must dance. They must constantly work to earn other people’s interest and love. Inside, ambivalent people are needy and may feel incompetent. However, they are enjoyable people to be around. A person with this style make those surrounding them feel good about themselves. Ambivalent people experience strong emotion, love, and laughter. The fear of rejection can spawn unhealthy behaviors within these people such as a very low self-esteem, frequently seeking assurance, nurturance, and support, feeling obsessed with the fear of being left alone (such as their spouse dying), feeling helpless when alone, and making others superior to themselves. I have become the very definition of the ambivalent relationship style. As I read this chapter, I thought I was nearly reading a profile about me. My biggest dream in life is not to have riches and fame, but to have a family. My worst fear is a direct contradiction to my dream and it is losing my family. Sometimes, the fear of losing them overpowers the dream of having a family that I at times feel like not even aiming to find a partner.
The avoidant relationship style contains the characteristics of a person who believes that they are worthy of love only based on their accomplishments and others are unwilling and incapable of loving them. Avoidant people are turned off by touch. I have a friend who displays this characteristic. She is comfortable expressing herself, just not by touch. As she has described it to me, she gets tense and awkward when it comes to either her boyfriend touching her or her touching her boyfriend. She doesn’t understand why she is like this and I tried to explain to her that perhaps she is the avoidant lifestyle type person. After having read quite a few excerpts from Clinton and Sibcy’s book, she said she could relate to it. Avoidant people also feel that they must rely on themselves to get what they need, that includes emotionally and mentally. One shade of the avoidant lifestyle is narcissism. I had a friend who was the epitome of this avoidant narcissistic lifestyle. He constantly sought praise for himself, to the point of over exaggerating many aspects of his character and of his life, almost as though he was trying to prove more to himself, than to anyone else, that he was worthy. Because of this, he was also very arrogant and had an inflated sense of self-worth. He drove away a lot of his friends, all that I know, because he was very sensitive to criticism and responded many times with intense anger. I remember he threatened to crush one of our friends with a chair by lifting it up and holding it over the person. Another time, he threatened me over a silly game. The more I read of the avoidant attachment style chapter, the more I understood why my friend was like that, and the more I sympathized with him. When he was young, his father abandoned him and his little brother. His mother, although caring, seemed to be very critical of him and his brother and rarely rewarding. She drove them to perfection without showing appreciation. I know that he resented his father for abandoning him and I know he did not favor his mother more than she had to be favored.
Lastly, the disorganized relationship style is just that, disorganized. These people believe that they’re not worthy of love, and incapable of getting the love that they feel they need without being angry or clingy. They also believe that other people are unable to meet their needs so they are also untrusting. Disorganized attachment style people feel that other people around them are abusive, but they deserve to be abused. These people are also addicted to chaos, seeming to follow it and cause it in many of their relationships. Usually a disorganized person was born and raised in an abusive home, ranging from verbal abuse, to incest.
This book brought some tough memories back to life for me. As I mentioned before, I find that I fit the profile of the ambivalent relationship style; not so much because of how I was raised, but as it seems to be a reoccurring thing in all my relationships. I believe, of course, that my parents’ divorce did have something to do with it, but what I believe more, is that the girl I once almost married, had more to do with it. I met a girl in high school my freshman year. She was a senior. I’ll refer to her as Amber. Amber turned out to be a girl who was on fire for the Lord so she instantly attracted me. She and I became close friends. I found out that she was in fact engaged to a marine and he was overseas. Over time, however, she ended up admitting to me that she had developed feelings for me. I, of course, had as well. By the time she graduated, it had come to a point in her life that she had to choose between me and her fiancé. From her family’s persuasion, she chose her fiancé. It hurt me greatly and I was upset about the whole ordeal for quite some time, but got over it and befriended her again, after she was married. I met her husband and he was actually a pretty stand up guy. About a year passed and her husband turned himself in for child molestation. He went to prison for two years. In that two years, Amber and I got close again, but not romantically. She had decided to stay with her husband and get him some help. Two years later, he was released and life for her seemed to go on. Four months after that, however, he molested again, and went back to jail. This time, Amber relied on me for a shoulder to cry on and I was there for her. She decided this time to get a divorce and I made sure I was there for her.
During this her divorce, she began to have feelings for me once again, this having been 4 years after the first episode. She was my first love so it was easy to return those feelings. This time however, there was nothing holding her back, so she openly loved me. We had made plans to get married, and within two years, have children together. Things were great. Then, suddenly, it was over. No explanation from her. She had met someone else. I was bitter towards her for three years after that, refusing to go anywhere I might run into her. She ended up marrying another marine. Her story, however, ended badly. Her and her new husband, three weeks after the wedding, got in a car accident, and he died. I felt bad for her and I prayed for her. Point being, she hurt me twice, abandoned me twice in my life. I think that is was because of these events, primarily, that I am the ambivalent relationship style. I fear abandonment more than anything; whether that abandonment be voluntary, like Amber’s, or involuntary, such as death.

Sorry, I don't speak Chinese

After having read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, a lot of problems within a marriage stem from a lack of communication, even the communication of love. Other than verbally saying, “I love you,” love is expressed in many ways. As Dr. Chapman points out, in five different ways, by words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, acts of service, and gift giving. It’s explained that each individual naturally speaks at least one primary love language. By this, they express their love to others and receive love from others. Marriages tend to struggle when each spouse speak a different love language. When a husband speaks and receives love in the manner of gift giving, and the wife speaks and receives love by physical touch, communication between the two may be vague. The reason is because although the husband loves his wife, and buys and makes her gifts, she doesn’t feel as loved by this action as she would if he would give her a hug. And even though his wife takes care to hug and kiss and cuddle her husband, he would prefer to get a nice love note or something simple as a gift from his wife to show she was thinking of him. This is what is considered a lack of love communication which can lead to the “four horsemen.” The way to resolve this is for each spouse to learn each other’s love language. The wife would have to learn how to start giving her husband gifts and her husband would have to learn how to start showing his wife physical attention.

Eh?! What was 'at? Wha' you say?

There are a few main keys to a successful relationship: God, love, commitment, trust, and communication. All are important, but the two most important are God and communication, without which, none of the others would exist or matter. God is the one who ordained marriage, so a marriage without Him is hollow and pointless. Secondly, a successful marriage, or relationship is based off of good communication. Communication can span in many different areas, such as body language, speech, and actions. Good communication involves a solid understanding of how you feel, what you want, and what you're willing to tolerate. Equally important involved in good communication is the ability to listen. Listening makes up a big portion of communication. However, there is more to listening than just being able to recall what someone said, it's being able to accurately interpret what a person said. There are many things that can hinder the ability or intentions of listening: defensiveness, biases, interruptive habits, and selective attention. If a person is on the defensive about a topic, they're likely not listening to the opposing view, but rather looking for a retort. If a person is bias about a subject, they will likely only ever hear what they want to hear, or interpret what is said differently than what is intended. Also, if a person has an interruptive attitude or habit usually aren't interested in what's being said but are more interested in what he or she wants to say. Lastly, a selective attention is similar to that of a biased person, in that they generally only hear what they want to hear, but the difference is, they only hear certain things not because they want to, but more because their thought process is more frantic, thinking of many different things all at once, conclusively, not giving someone their undivided attention. All of these hindrances can inhibit good communication within a marriage or relationship.

"I'm 63 and I’m Tired"

(I found this in the Carteret News Paper. Awesome post.)

"I'm 63 and I’m Tired"
by Robert A. Hall



I'm 63. Except for one semester in college when jobs were scarce and a six-month period when I was between jobs, but job-hunting every day, I've worked, hard, since I was 18. Despite some health challenges, I still put in 50-hour weeks, and haven't called in sick in seven or eight years. I make a good salary, but I didn't inherit my job or my income, and I worked to get where I am. Given the economy, there's no retirement in sight, and I'm tired. Very tired.

I'm tired of being told that I have to "spread the wealth" to people who don't have my work ethic. I'm tired of being told the government will take the money I earned, by force if necessary, and give it to people too lazy to earn it.

I'm tired of being told that I have to pay more taxes to "keep people in their homes." Sure, if they lost their jobs or got sick, I'm willing to help. But if they bought McMansions at three times the price of our paid-off, $250,000 condo, on one-third of my salary, then let the left-wing Congress-critters who passed Fannie and Freddie and the Community Reinvestment Act that created the bubble help them with their own money.

I'm tired of being told how bad America is by left-wing millionaires like Michael Moore, George Soros and Hollywood entertainers who live in luxury because of the opportunities America offers. In thirty years, if they get their way, the United States will have the economy of Zimbabwe, the freedom of the press of China, the crime and violence of Mexico, the tolerance for Christian people of Iran, and the freedom of speech of Venezuela.

I'm tired of being told that Islam is a "Religion of Peace," when every day I can read dozens of stories of Muslim men killing their sisters, wives and daughters for their family "honor"; of Muslims rioting over some slight offense; of Muslims murdering Christian and Jews because they aren't "believers"; of Muslims burning schools for girls; of Muslims stoning teenage rape victims to death for "adultery"; of Muslims mutilating the genitals of little girls; all in the name of Allah, because the Qur'an and Shari'a law tells them to.

I'm tired of being told that "race doesn't matter" in the post-racial world of Obama, when it's all that matters in affirmative action jobs, lower college admission and graduation standards for minorities (harming them the most), government contract set-asides, tolerance for the ghetto culture of violence and fatherless children that hurts minorities more than anyone, and in the appointment of U.S. Senators from Illinois.

I think it's very cool that we have a black president and that a black child is doing her homework at the desk where Lincoln wrote the Emancipation Proclamation. I just wish the black president was Condi Rice, or someone who believes more in freedom and the individual and less arrogantly of an all-knowing government.

I'm tired of a news media that thinks Bush's fundraising and inaugural expenses were obscene, but that think Obama's, at triple the cost, were wonderful; that thinks Bush exercising daily was a waste of presidential time, but Obama exercising is a great example for the public to control weight and stress; that picked over every line of Bush's military records, but never demanded that Kerry release his; that slammed Palin, with two years as governor, for being too inexperienced for VP, but touted Obama with three years as senator as potentially the best president ever. Wonder why people are dropping their subscriptions or switching to Fox News? Get a clue. I didn't vote for Bush in 2000, but the media and Kerry drove me to his camp in 2004.

I'm tired of being told that out of "tolerance for other cultures" we must let Saudi Arabia use our oil money to fund mosques and madrassa Islamic schools to preach hate in America, while no American group is allowed to fund a church, synagogue or religious school in Saudi Arabia to teach love and tolerance.

I'm tired of being told I must lower my living standard to fight global warming, which no one is allowed to debate. My wife and I live in a two-bedroom apartment and carpool together five miles to our jobs. We also own a three-bedroom condo where our daughter and granddaughter live. Our carbon footprint is about 5% of Al Gore's, and if you're greener than Gore, you're green enough.

I'm tired of being told that drug addicts have a disease, and I must help support and treat them, and pay for the damage they do. Did a giant germ rush out of a dark alley, grab them, and stuff white powder up their noses while they tried to fight it off? I don't think Gay people choose to be Gay, but I damn sure think druggies chose to take drugs. And I'm tired of harassment from cool people treating me like a freak when I tell them I never tried marijuana.

I'm tired of illegal aliens being called "undocumented workers," especially the ones who aren't working, but are living on welfare or crime. What's next? Calling drug dealers, "Undocumented Pharmacists"? And, no, I'm not against Hispanics. Most of them are Catholic, and it's been a few hundred years since Catholics wanted to kill me for my religion. I'm willing to fast track for citizenship any Hispanic person, who can speak English, doesn't have a criminal record and who is self-supporting without family on welfare, or who serves honorably for three years in our military.... Those are the citizens we need.

I'm tired of latte liberals and journalists, who would never wear the uniform of the Republic themselves, or let their entitlement-handicapped kids near a recruiting station, trashing our military. They and their kids can sit at home, never having to make split-second decisions under life and death circumstances, and bad mouth better people than themselves. Do bad things happen in war? You bet. Do our troops sometimes misbehave? Sure. Does this compare with the atrocities that were the policy of our enemies for the last fifty years and still are? Not even close. So here's the deal. I'll let myself be subjected to all the humiliation and abuse that was heaped on terrorists at Abu Ghraib or Gitmo, and the critics can let themselves be subject to captivity by the Muslims, who tortured and beheaded Daniel Pearl in Pakistan, or the Muslims who tortured and murdered Marine Lt. Col. William Higgins in Lebanon, or the Muslims who ran the blood-spattered Al Qaeda torture rooms our troops found in Iraq, or the Muslims who cut off the heads of schoolgirls in Indonesia, because the girls were Christian. Then we'll compare notes. British and American soldiers are the only troops in history that civilians came to for help and handouts, instead of hiding from in fear.

I'm tired of people telling me that their party has a corner on virtue and the other party has a corner on corruption. Read the papers; bums are bipartisan. And I'm tired of people telling me we need bipartisanship. I live in Illinois, where the "Illinois Combine" of Democrats has worked to loot the public for years. Not to mention the tax cheats in Obama's cabinet.

I'm tired of hearing wealthy athletes, entertainers and politicians of both parties talking about innocent mistakes, stupid mistakes or youthful mistakes, when we all know they think their only mistake was getting caught. I'm tired of people with a sense of entitlement, rich or poor.

Speaking of poor, I'm tired of hearing people with air-conditioned homes, color TVs and two cars called poor. The majority of Americans didn't have that in 1970, but we didn't know we were "poor." The poverty pimps have to keep changing the definition of poor to keep the dollars flowing.

I'm real tired of people who don't take responsibility for their lives and actions. I'm tired of hearing them blame the government, or discrimination or big-whatever for their problems.

Yes, I'm damn tired. But I'm also glad to be 63. Because, mostly, I'm not going to have to see the world these people are making. I'm just sorry for my granddaughter.

Robert A. Hall is a Marine Vietnam veteran who served five terms in the Massachusetts State Senate.

He lost his leg....

My grandfather, a decorated Vietnam veteran, has had many health issues throughout his life after the war. As he got older, his health problems progressed, as did his smoking. I'm someone who supports smokers. What I mean by that is, I'm not someone who is against smokers and smoking. I know that smoking is a harmful habit; I've felt this way about smoking even before I started smoking mainly because, all of my family smokes. So, when someone says that people shouldn't be allowed to smoke in certain places, it irks me. Private businesses I understand. I live in North Carolina and they just passed a law that prohibits people from smoking in bars. It also prohibits smoking in any area where food is served. I'm not a bar junkie, I never will be. But I am still against this law. I think it should be up to the bar owners or restaurant owners whether there should be smoking in their store. I'm more for freedom, not socialism/communism.

That being said, my grandfather has smoked nearly his entire life. I've known him to have heart attacks, bypasses, and many other surgeries because of his smoking habit. A few years ago, his leg began to severely hurt him. When the doctors told him that if he didn't quit smoking, he was going to lose his leg, he set into motion a plan to quit smoking. Before his major health problems, my grandfather was in the pre-contemplation stage. Once he had his heart attack and bypass, he entered into the contemplation stage, aware of the problem but unwilling to do anything about it. Then, when he was told he would lose his leg, a fear of his since the war, he quickly and eagerly hopped into the preparation stage. He was given a good deal of advice on how to wane from the cigarette, from smoking less and less every day, to even rearranging his furniture in the house. This would have been the action stage. He actually maintained this and the only ways or times he relapsed was when he would beg someone for just one cigarette or look through the ash tray for unfinished cigarettes. Either way, he did well. Sadly, as time progressed, his leg never got better, it only got worse. A year or so after having initially quit smoking, he had to get his leg amputated. Therefore, my grandfather, a decorated Vietnam veteran, lost his leg to smoking, and regrets every living day he spent with a cigarette in his mouth. Now, when he talks to his children or his grandchildren who smoke, like me, he pleadingly tries to convince them to stop while it's not too late.

Witnessing to a Stranger

This conversation I had with a stranger on the website, www.omegle.com. Names, email addresses, or websites have been either changed or omitted.  The discussion begins when we began to discuss God.

You: How'd you hear of this site?

Stranger: A close friend of mine told me someone on this site may help me find my way

You: Find your way? Are you searching for something?

Stranger: I'm wondering about certain things. I may be the peppy cheerleader but... lets say that the cheer uniforms have long sleeves.. if you understand that.

You: Hmm. I'm not sure that I understand that to be honest.

Stranger: what would a certain currupt teen hide beneath sleeves

Stranger: ?

You: Oooh. I understand I think.

You: It's interesting though, that your friend would suggest this site for that. Most of the people on this site are searching for sexual gratification. Sometimes, you get decent people not looking for that.

Stranger: she found someone here and that person talked to her about things that she has not explained to me and she seemed to hope the same would happen for me

You: Ooh I see. Hmm.

You: So what are you wondering about? The certain things you mentioned before.

Stranger: I really dont know.

You: Do you believe in anything?

Stranger: In what sense.

You: God, heaven, hell, the Bible, afterlife, etc. Morals, values, etc.

Stranger: I believe in God. and his son our savior. heaven and hell are kind of "iffy" to me.

Stranger: My moral and values are kind of too many to name

You: heheh. Okay. You believe in God and His Son, our Savior. And who is His Son?

Stranger: Jesus Christ.

You: :-) And heaven and hell are iffy to you. Why is that?

Stranger: I don't see any life after death

Stranger: And, as those are the homes for the dead, i am not completely sure of them

You: Well, Heaven, as I'm sure you know, is the place where God dwells with Jesus. And this is the place God has prepared for His children. Hell is the place where those who rebel against God, go. People, when they die, will end up in one of these two places for eternity. If you think about it, Jesus is the Savior, but if there is no heaven or hell, then what was His purpose?

Stranger: I've never really thought like that

You: You see, God created hell only for the sole purpose to send the angels who rebelled against Him. I.e. Lucifer (Satan) and his followers.

You: God never wanted to send His most precious creation, us humans, to hell. But when we fell, when Adam sinned against God, we rebelled.

You: And because God is perfect, and no sin can enter into Heaven, He was left no choice but to send those who rebelled against Him, to hell.

Stranger: But those of us whom love God and cherish him shall exit this world and enter a perfect one?

You: This of course broke His heart. So, in order to save His creation, He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to earth, in the form of a human. Jesus took our punishment for sin upon Himself, so that we wouldn't have to pay the debt.

You: Honestly, being one who goes to heaven is rather simple. All you have to do is, A) Confess that you're a sinner, B.) Repent (turn away) from your sins, and C.) Admit that Jesus is Lord.

You: You see, being a good person and doing good things won't get someone into heaven. Works alone basically.

You: One must have faith.

You: It's kind of like this:

You: Let's say you were driving down the road. The speed limit was 25 mph, and you were going 60 mph. You got stopped and got a ticket for $60,000. You could not pay this debt. And of course, you can't look at the judge and say to him, "Judge, you're a good man. I don't think you will make me pay this fine because you're a good man." The judge would say, "Actually, it is because I'm a good man that I must make you pay this fine or I have to send you to jail."

You: Then suddenly, a man you don't even know walks into the court room with you, and pays your fine.

You: That's what Jesus did. You see, God is good, and because He is good, the breaking of His law must not go unpunished. Someone must pay that fine. Jesus paid it in full for all. He died upon the cross, took our punishment for our sin, so that we would be debt free.

You: Then, because we would be cleansed of our sin and debt to God, we could live happily in eternity with Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.

You: Does this make any sense to you?

Stranger: Actually, this is so clear that I am beginning to understand what I have been overlooking

Stranger: Faith and Hope are key, correct? As well as belief and repentance.

You: Right. Faith hope and love remain, but the greatest of these is Love.

You: Repentance is turning away from your sinful ways and turning to God, and following Him. Letting Him lead and guide you through life.

Stranger: I have a ring that says Hope and my friend had one that says Faith. I never understood what made me buy them. It's almost like i had the need to. It wasn't beauty, it wasnt price. I just loved them, they had an unknown meaning to me

You: Faith is important. Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen. It is by faith that we understand that the universe was formed at God's command so that what is seen was not made out of what was known.

Stranger: Well, Jimmy Wells, I believe im going to get off now. You have given me a new outlook and I thank u with my everything for it.

You: Of course. One last thing:

You: Meditate on this deeply: For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son. So that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life. God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him. Whoever believes in Him is not condemned but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son.

You: And insert your name personally into it.

Stranger: John 3:16

You: And Stranger, if ever you want to talk, discuss, email me. jim41088@gmail.com.

You: yes John 3:16. It's a common verse indeed, but once you meditate on it, it's deep.

Stranger: it have it written on my wall.

Stranger: i love it.

You: :-) awesome.

Stranger: i have it memorized.

You: :-D me too!

You: Well I won't keep you longer, but I would be pleased to hear from you in an email sometime.

You: There is a path for you Stranger. God loves you and He wants you. He died for you and wants you with Him in eternity someday.

You: Grace and peace be with you in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, our King and Savior.

Stranger: Jimmy, i do believe God put u in this world to save and educate

Stranger: May he be with you every step of the way.

You: I hope He did.

You: Thank you. :-)

Stranger: Goodbye my friend

You: God bless.

Feel free to leave comments.

Witnessing to Strangers

This conversation I had with a stranger on the website, www.omegle.com.


You: hi

Stranger: hi

You: Do you think you're a good person?

Stranger: well sorta to people at least but i dont think i make any great contributions or anything

Stranger: i just dont act mean

You: So, if you died, where do you think you would go, heaven or hell? (Let's assume they exist)

Stranger: hell

You: Why?

Stranger: because im nice to people i know

Stranger: but when i t comes to other things im not

Stranger: such as i i somtimes have taken things from stores

Stranger: and i hop the train

You: So you haven't kept say the Ten Commandments?

Stranger: are asking if i follow them?

You: Asking if you've broken them.

Stranger: ofcourse ive broken them and im pretty sure every one in the world has broken them

You: I agree.

You: The Ten Commandments are God's Law. And if His law is broken, there is punishment. You've already said you've broken them, and that you feel you're going to hell. Does that concern you at all?

Stranger: well not exactly im in that stage were im not sure if any of that is real im in between deciding between any religion or atheism i think its called agnostic or somthing..

You: Right. Agnostic.

Stranger: ive started breaking more commandments ever since i questioned it

You: But as an agnostic, you entertain the idea that God might be real. That the Bible is true. You're seeking God while at the same time, running from Him.

Stranger: well im not seeking him but im not sure if hes real or not cause there arnt really any explinations

Stranger: its like im just waiting for somthing to happen

You: I have broken every commandment of the Ten. I've lied, stolen, blasphemed, murdered, commited adultery, envied, dishonored my parents, forgot the sabbath, had idols, and I've not loved God first and foremost.

Stranger: well everythingg else in my eyes is fine except murder

You: In the eyes of God, none of those things are fine.

Stranger: unless it was slef defence its alright

Stranger: if it was i mean

You: But, you said you're waiting to see if God reveals Himself to you. but I tell you, for those who seek, shall find.

Stranger: well im gonna seek and i really dont want to if he truly exist and loves every one of his people he shall seek me

Stranger: im not*

You: Oh He is seeking you. Have you ever heard of heart's door?

Stranger: no

You: It's basically a metaphore speaking the Truth that God as at your heart's door, knocking.

You: But the thing about this is,

You: He can't open the door.

You: You have to be the one opening that door to allow Him entrance.

You: God is a gentlemen. If He knocks, and you tell Him to go away, He will. He may come back later on and knock, but after so many times in your life of you telling Him to go away, He will.

You: God is seeking you. It says in the Bible that a sherpherd will leave His entire flock to find the lost sheep.

You: You, to God, are the lost sheep.

You: This conversation right now, stranger, is a knock on your door.

Stranger: well if im the lost sheep he should come and if he truly wants me he should try even harder becuase if i did beleive in him would you still be the knock on my door?

You: If you weren't right with God, and yet you still believed in Him, then yes, this would be, and is, your knock.

You: As I said, God is a gentlemen. He does want you very badly. He allowed His Son to die on the cross, He allowed His Son to take your punishment, the breaking of the Law, upon Himself, so that you wouldn't have to. If that is not God trying hard enough, then I don't know what is.

You: Do you know what I'm referring to when I mention God's Son?

Stranger: jesus if im not mistaken

You: You are correct. Do you know who Jesus is and what He did?

Stranger: i know who he is and know a bit about him

Sadly, it was at this point that the stranger disconnected our conversation.