Sorry, I don't speak Chinese

After having read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, a lot of problems within a marriage stem from a lack of communication, even the communication of love. Other than verbally saying, “I love you,” love is expressed in many ways. As Dr. Chapman points out, in five different ways, by words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, acts of service, and gift giving. It’s explained that each individual naturally speaks at least one primary love language. By this, they express their love to others and receive love from others. Marriages tend to struggle when each spouse speak a different love language. When a husband speaks and receives love in the manner of gift giving, and the wife speaks and receives love by physical touch, communication between the two may be vague. The reason is because although the husband loves his wife, and buys and makes her gifts, she doesn’t feel as loved by this action as she would if he would give her a hug. And even though his wife takes care to hug and kiss and cuddle her husband, he would prefer to get a nice love note or something simple as a gift from his wife to show she was thinking of him. This is what is considered a lack of love communication which can lead to the “four horsemen.” The way to resolve this is for each spouse to learn each other’s love language. The wife would have to learn how to start giving her husband gifts and her husband would have to learn how to start showing his wife physical attention.