My beliefs, opinions, rants, passions, worries, concerns, and thoughts are found here. If you want to get to know me in this huge world of different people, then read on....
Silence filled the room. Nothing could be heard except for the small whimpering from Ahude and the small hissing sound from the lighter in Agent Wells’ hand. Ahude, strapped to a chair, wearing a yellow dress with pick flowers, and eyes wide with fear, frantically shifts her focus from her father, sitting half a room away, also strapped to a chair, to the flame inching closer to her delicate skin.
“Daddy?” Ahude called out to her father. She remembered all too well how it felt to be burnt. The kitchen stove top taught her that a few years ago. She never wanted to feel that again.
“Don’t you touch her!” Salim pleadingly demanded never taking his eyes off the flame.
“Tell us where it is Salim and this all ends here,” Agent Wells offered. The flame had heated the small ignition wheel on the lighter and his thumb was beginning to burn. At that, Salim launched a wad of spit across the room landing on the pant leg of Agent Wells. With a reluctant sigh, Agent Wells said, “So be it.” He then put the flame under Ahude’s wiggling hand waving it back and forth under her palm. Ahude began to struggle, trying to free herself to get as far away from the fire as she could. However, the straps held tight and her struggle was to no avail. The flame hurt, she could feel her hand heating up rapidly, beginning to blister.
Tears start to well up and Ahude begins to cry, wanting to scream out in pain but her father had always taught her not to show pain. She grits her teeth so hard that her jaw begins to hurt.
“C’mon Salim, this can only get worse!” Agent Wells shouted, tears beginning to well up in his eyes as he begins to smell burning flesh.
Ahude lets out a small cry. “Daddy!!” Her tears stream down her face and onto her pretty yellow dress. Strands of her long dark hair stick to her tear soaked face. “Daddy! Make him stop!”
What am I doing? I can’t continue this, thought Agent Wells to himself. Just as Agent Wells was about to pull the flame away, Salim, through exasperated sobs, said, “Alright! Alright. I’ll tell you everything. Anything you want to know. Just please, don’t hurt her anymore.” Salim bowed his head dejectedly, sobbing with tears falling to his chest. “I’ll tell you everything.”
Agent Wells let the flame die out, recognizing the burn on his thumb, but acknowledging that it was no where nearly as bad as the burn on Ahude’s hand. He unstrapped Ahude and led her out the door to the paramedics.
“Give her some pain meds, bandage that up,” Agent Wells directed. Just as he was about to turn to walk back in the room with Salim, Miss Hortsright called out his name walking briskly to him from down the hall.
“An innocent child?!” Miss Hortsright demanded. “You tortured an innocent child Agent Wells! You’re a monster! I hope you rot.”
“Her hand will now be the most famous hand in American history,” Agent Wells calmly replied.
“Humph!”
“But you’re right. I am a monster. I’m going to know that for the rest of my life. But if you will excuse me, I have to retrieve the information that will save thousands.”
---------------
Was it wrong to go through with the torture? Yes, I would have to say it was wrong. But a better question would be, was it necessary? And to that, I also answer yes.
Relationships and marriages have many aspects that can cause them to succeed or fail. Many of these aspects, however, either elude human knowledge or stretch beyond a person’s control. In years past, researchers have found facets within human interactions in which relationships succeed; facets that do not evade control or knowledge.
KEY FACTORS TO MARITL SUCCESS
Marriage and marital success have been the topic of counselors and researchers for decades. What makes a marriage last? Several key factors, God, honesty, communication, and love, contribute to what it takes to have a lasting relationship. God needs to be at the center of the relationship. If a couple takes their eyes off God, they can expect to stumble. Although all relationships have bumpy terrain, there are healthy ways to make it through tough times. Honesty also unlocks the pathway to an enriching relationship; deceit dictates the path of destruction within a marriage. Furthermore, communication plays a very important role in maintaining a marriage. Everyone has needs and the only way to meet those needs is to communicate them. Love blossoms as the fourth key factor contributing to a successful marriage.
Foresight to Marital Success
Because of many myths and superstitions claiming to predict the outcome of a marriage, researches have launched methods into finding out whether or not there exist characteristics of people or events that will determine the product of a marriage.
Myths and Superstitions
It is amazing how many people and cultures believe that it is bad luck for the groom and bride to see each other before the ceremony (Napolitano, 2010). Or another myth that says rain on the wedding day will cause the bride to cry all her married life. A good percentage of people in many cultures believe and rely on these myths and superstitions. Wearing a white wedding dress is another example of a feature from folklore. The Victorian rhyme “Something Old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a silver sixpence in her shoe,” has many meanings but is also still followed in modern weddings (Wedding Superstitions and Traditions). If a couple follows every conceivable superstition, the wedding would resemble a circus, particularly one that feeds a cat out of an old shoe so as to ensure a happy wedding (Napolitano, 2009).
Experimental Findings
Myths and superstitions come off as silly attempts to have a happy marriage, perhaps gambling on pagan gods. However, a study conducted by Ernest W. Burgess, a sociology professor at the University of Chicago from 1916 through 1960, identified a number of characteristics which aided in predicting marital adjustment (Zuo, 1992). Burgess found indicators of positive marital adjustments such as psychogenetic personality, impressions of cultural patterns, life organization, career, and economic prospects (Zuo, 1992). The most promising predictive factors of a happy marriage rested on the happiness of the couples’ parents’ marriage, how many siblings each person had, religion, culture, and education (Zuo, 1992). As a result of these studies, Burgess concluded that marital success could be expected for groups of couples who have certain characteristics (Zuo, 1992).
Promising Characteristics
Self security portrays promising characteristics of a person within a relationship. Promising characteristics include confidence in him or herself, in effectiveness, and in expression of his or her needs. Also a person with a capable personality displays solid morals, such as that with right and wrong. Tying in with their morals, he or she will have values that are not entirely based on pop culture, but on what he or she believes in. Beliefs, morals, and values all bind together in an individual and make them who they are. What a person believes makes them a unique individual. Furthermore, a promising secure person lacks any underlying major issues such as uncontrollable anger and perhaps an addictive personality.
Christianity and Marriage
Marriage began with Adam and Eve, portrayed in Genesis of the Jewish and Christian bibles. As God said in the Bible, “18’it is not good for the man to be alone. I will make him a helper suitable for him.’ 22 The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man and brought her to the man. 24 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh,” (Gen.2:18,22,24, New American Standard Version).
Christ and Church Depiction
The Bible compares marriage between a man and woman with that of the Church and Jesus Christ. Christ as the bridegroom and the church as the bride (Eph. 5:23, NASB).
Then the kingdom of heaven will be comparable to ten virgins, who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. Five of them were foolish, and five were prudent. For when the foolish took their lamps, they took no oil with them, but the prudent took oil in flasks along with their lamps. Now while the bridegroom was delaying, they all got drowsy and began to sleep. But at midnight there was a shout, 'Behold, the bridegroom! Come out to meet him.' Then all those virgins rose and trimmed their lamps. The foolish said to the prudent, 'Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.' But the prudent answered, 'No, there will not be enough for us and you too; go instead to the dealers and buy some for yourselves.’ And while they were going away to make the purchase, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went in with him to the wedding feast; and the door was shut. Later the other virgins also came, saying, 'Lord, lord, open up for us.’ But he answered, 'Truly I say to you, I do not know you.’ Be on the alert then, for you do not know the day nor the hour. (Matt. 25:1-13, New American Standard Bible.)
Marriage is conducted and blessed by God making it sacred. Deceit and defilement have no place within a marriage.
Married to God
The man is to be the head of the house hold, and the head of the wife. Likewise, Christ is the head of the church, and the church is the body. “God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him,” (1 John 4:16c, NASB). Love is tolerant and well mannered (1 Cor. 13, NASB). It does not envy or boast and is not arrogant (1 Cor. 13, NASB). Love is not rude or self-seeking or easily angered nor does it keep any record of wrong doing (1 Cor. 13, NASB).
Communication
Why does communication hold such value within a marriage? Communication spans a vast plain of recognition. In order for a couple to understand one another, concerning needs and wants, a level of communication has to be conducted.
Verbal Communication
Verbal communication covers many aspects of human socializing. Spoken communication ranges from words, speech, tone of voice, revealing intentions and desires. Language is a powerful tool when communicating between couples. Likewise, language affects thought (Seiler, W.J., 2008). The elements of language include sounds (tone of voice), words, grammar, and meaning.
Body Language
Body language is just as important as spoken communication, but in some ways, communicates different intentions and desires. One of the main differences between verbal and non-verbal communication is that non-verbal communication occurs constantly (Seiler, W.J., 2008). Many believe that it portrays more truth as well, such as facial expressions, tenseness, etc. The types of nonverbal communication range from body movements to touch, space, smell, silence, and environment (Seiler, W.J., 2008).
Emotional Expression
Within a marriage, the ability to express emotions is just as important as communication and expression altogether. Although a spouse may be able to interpret an emotion from the other, the reason to as why that emotion is being had is still elusive. A husband needs to clue his wife in to how he is feeling and why, for a wife will not understand fully. Likewise, a wife needs to explain and communicate how she is feeling to her husband. Emotions have many brackets, but one of the most important is expressing love through sexuality. Sex towers over any other affection and knights itself as the deepest expression of love.
Relationship Languages
Many people come from different backgrounds and possess different relationship processing skills. Some folks interpret love differently than others, and some people attempt to earn or recognize love and worthiness in different ways.
The Five Love Languages
The Five Love Languages written by Gary Chapman describe in detail that every person possesses a love language, or a way of receiving and expressing love to others (2004). The five love languages consist of five emotional expressions: quality time, acts of service, physical touch, words of affirmation, and gift giving. Quality time refers to those who prefer to spend time with loved ones, as a way of showing that they love someone. In reflection, they also feel loved when someone spends one on one time with them as well. Acts of service refers to people who like and enjoy doing things, such as favors, for other people to express love. Also, when someone does something for them, they also in return feel loved. For those people who enjoy hugging, holding hands, or cuddling inherit the love language of physical touch. These people do not necessarily feel emotionally close to someone else if there is never or hardly any touch involved. Compliments and encouragement carry a long way with people who possess the love language of words of affirmation. Lastly, gift giving refers to those who prefer to give a gift, from the heart. They enjoy giving gifts and feel loved when receiving gifts from another. Each person has at least one love language, but some have more than one, but still at least one dominant language (Chapman, 2004).
Relationship Styles
Just as with love languages, every person contains a relationship style, unique unto themselves. From the book Why You Do the Things You Do by Dr. Tim Clinton and Dr. Gary Sibcy, people are described as having a secure relationship style, ambivalent, avoidant, or a disorganized relationship style (2006). Some people may be able to relate to more than one, however, always have a dominate style.
Those possessing the secure attachment style effortlessly believe that they are worthy of love, are capable of getting love, and that others are willing and able to love them. One of the most major characteristics of a secure person is the ability to understand and experience the whole field of emotions and the capability to express them efficiently. Secure people do not feel the need to earn their self worth (Sibcy, 2006). They were raised in an environment where other people respected their feelings and because of this they find it easy to respect the feelings of others. They are confident that they can affect the feelings of other people without any manipulation, and still get their desires expressed. Those with a secure relationship style do not fear emotions from themselves or from anyone else and they have no uncertainties with seeking and accepting comfort from other people (Sibcy, 2006).
Beliefs that fuel the ambivalent relationship style include a feeling of unworthiness and imperfection and they are unable to receive love from anyone. The person with the ambivalent attachment style feels that the people they love give off the impression that they are on borrowed time and that at any moment will be left and abandoned. They also fear abandonment and in order to win the approval and acceptance of others, they must “dance,” (Sibcy, 2006). They must constantly work to earn other people’s interest and love. Inside, ambivalent people are needy and may feel incompetent, however, are enjoyable people to be around. Ambivalent people experience strong emotion, love, and laughter (Sibcy, 2006). The fear of rejection can spawn unhealthy behaviors within these people such as a very low self-esteem, frequent sought after assurance, nurturance, and support; they become obsessed with the fear of being left alone (such as their spouse dying), feeling helpless when alone, and making others superior to themselves (Sibcy, 2006).
The avoidant relationship style contains the characteristics of a person who believes that they are worthy of love only based on their accomplishments and others are unwilling and incapable of loving them. Avoidant people become tense and uncomfortable when touched. Avoidant people also feel that they must rely on themselves to get what they need, that includes emotionally and mentally (Sibcy, 2006). One shade of the avoidant lifestyle is narcissism.
The disorganized relationship style is just that, disorganized. These people believe that they are not worthy of love, and incapable of getting the love that they feel they need without being angry or clingy (Sibcy, 2006). They also believe that other people are unable to meet their needs so they are very untrusting. Disorganized people feel that other people around them are abusive, but they deserve to be abused (Sibcy, 2006). These people are also addicted to chaos, seeming to follow it and cause it in many of their relationships. Usually born and raised in an abusive home, ranging from verbal abuse, to incest (Sibcy, 2006).
Marriage and the Family
A secure marriage has a lasting and positive impact on children. Usually, children who come from secure marriages become secure in themselves leading the secure relationship style discussed earlier. A good marriage leads to good parenting, and good parenting will lead to further healthy relationships.
Divorce on Children
Directly or indirectly involved all parties experience and suffer consequences of a divorce; from the actual spouses, to the friends and family, and to the marriage counselors desperately fighting for a solution to keep the couple from separating. However, one of the most vulnerable and the most sensitive person to a divorce is a child. Generally, the child is stuck in the middle of the devastating battle, feeling helpless, anxious, angry, or even to blame. When one parent is taken out of the picture of the family, the child may feel a disconnection or possibly a lasting separation from that parent. Unfortunately, the affects that a child bears may continue on in life, affecting every relationship and social endeavor the person might experience.
Conclusion
Many marriages, engagements, and relationships end because the couple did not put God at the center of focus. A failed relationship is nearly always a result of bad communication, dishonesty and selfishness. In order to obtain a healthy marriage or relationship, God must be at the center focus. The two parties must always be honest and always communicate clearly with one another. Along with clear communication, expression of love through the five love languages is essential to a lasting and successful marriage.
Reference Page
Chapman, Gary. (2004). The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. Chicago: Northfield Publishing.
Eggerichs, Emerson. (2004). Love and Respect: The Love She Desires, The Respect He Desperately Needs. Nashville: Thomas Nelson.
Zuo, Jiping. 1992. “The reciprocal relationship between marital interaction and marital happiness: A three-wave study.” Journal of Marriage and the Family. 54 (4): 870-878.
Dr. Time Clinton’s and Dr. Gary Sibcy’s book “Why You Do the Things You Do,” highlighted that every person develops a relationship style stemming from childhood. Clinton and Sibcy touched base with four different relationship styles: secure, ambivalent, avoidant, and disorganized. The most solid relationship style is secure, and Clinton and Sibcy explain that no matter which relationship style a person finds themselves in, there is hope to develop a healthy secure relationship style.
Clinton illuminated that babies have a special relationship with their parents, particularly the mother. This relationship will largely affect a person’s relationship weaknesses and strengths. As a child, my parents fostered a secure bond with me, without too much smothering and with just enough space. As a Christian, I feel secure in my Father in Heaven, but I struggle with idols of the heart, which sometimes becomes a stumbling block in my relationship with God.
Those with the secure attachment style easily feel that they are worthy of love, are capable of getting love, and that others are willing and able to love them. One of the most prominent characteristics of a secure person is the ability to experience the whole field of emotions and the capability to express them effectively. Secure people do not feel the need to earn their self worth. They were raised in an environment where other people respected their feelings. Because of this, secure people find it easy to respect the feelings of others. They’re confident that they can affect the feelings of other people without any manipulation, and still get their desires across. Those with a secure relationship style do not fear emotions from themselves or from anyone else. They have no qualms with seeking and accepting comfort from other people and they act when action is needed. Although my parents did well with me, even though they were divorced since I was three years old, I feel I was raised and parented as a secure relationship style. It have been through events in my life, relationship failures, that has led me astray from a secure attachment style. It could also be due to the fact that although my parents did well raising me, as far as emotional connection was concerned, I still took in that they were divorced and I have feared that happening to me with my own relationships.
Beliefs that fuel the ambivalent relationship style include a feeling of unworthiness and the feeling that they’re flawed and unable to receive love from anyone. The person with the ambivalent attachment style feels that the people they love give off the impression that they’re on borrowed time and that at any moment will be left and abandoned. People who have the ambivalent relationship style fear abandonment. They also feel that in order to win the approval and acceptance of others, they must dance. They must constantly work to earn other people’s interest and love. Inside, ambivalent people are needy and may feel incompetent. However, they are enjoyable people to be around. A person with this style make those surrounding them feel good about themselves. Ambivalent people experience strong emotion, love, and laughter. The fear of rejection can spawn unhealthy behaviors within these people such as a very low self-esteem, frequently seeking assurance, nurturance, and support, feeling obsessed with the fear of being left alone (such as their spouse dying), feeling helpless when alone, and making others superior to themselves. I have become the very definition of the ambivalent relationship style. As I read this chapter, I thought I was nearly reading a profile about me. My biggest dream in life is not to have riches and fame, but to have a family. My worst fear is a direct contradiction to my dream and it is losing my family. Sometimes, the fear of losing them overpowers the dream of having a family that I at times feel like not even aiming to find a partner.
The avoidant relationship style contains the characteristics of a person who believes that they are worthy of love only based on their accomplishments and others are unwilling and incapable of loving them. Avoidant people are turned off by touch. I have a friend who displays this characteristic. She is comfortable expressing herself, just not by touch. As she has described it to me, she gets tense and awkward when it comes to either her boyfriend touching her or her touching her boyfriend. She doesn’t understand why she is like this and I tried to explain to her that perhaps she is the avoidant lifestyle type person. After having read quite a few excerpts from Clinton and Sibcy’s book, she said she could relate to it. Avoidant people also feel that they must rely on themselves to get what they need, that includes emotionally and mentally. One shade of the avoidant lifestyle is narcissism. I had a friend who was the epitome of this avoidant narcissistic lifestyle. He constantly sought praise for himself, to the point of over exaggerating many aspects of his character and of his life, almost as though he was trying to prove more to himself, than to anyone else, that he was worthy. Because of this, he was also very arrogant and had an inflated sense of self-worth. He drove away a lot of his friends, all that I know, because he was very sensitive to criticism and responded many times with intense anger. I remember he threatened to crush one of our friends with a chair by lifting it up and holding it over the person. Another time, he threatened me over a silly game. The more I read of the avoidant attachment style chapter, the more I understood why my friend was like that, and the more I sympathized with him. When he was young, his father abandoned him and his little brother. His mother, although caring, seemed to be very critical of him and his brother and rarely rewarding. She drove them to perfection without showing appreciation. I know that he resented his father for abandoning him and I know he did not favor his mother more than she had to be favored.
Lastly, the disorganized relationship style is just that, disorganized. These people believe that they’re not worthy of love, and incapable of getting the love that they feel they need without being angry or clingy. They also believe that other people are unable to meet their needs so they are also untrusting. Disorganized attachment style people feel that other people around them are abusive, but they deserve to be abused. These people are also addicted to chaos, seeming to follow it and cause it in many of their relationships. Usually a disorganized person was born and raised in an abusive home, ranging from verbal abuse, to incest.
This book brought some tough memories back to life for me. As I mentioned before, I find that I fit the profile of the ambivalent relationship style; not so much because of how I was raised, but as it seems to be a reoccurring thing in all my relationships. I believe, of course, that my parents’ divorce did have something to do with it, but what I believe more, is that the girl I once almost married, had more to do with it. I met a girl in high school my freshman year. She was a senior. I’ll refer to her as Amber. Amber turned out to be a girl who was on fire for the Lord so she instantly attracted me. She and I became close friends. I found out that she was in fact engaged to a marine and he was overseas. Over time, however, she ended up admitting to me that she had developed feelings for me. I, of course, had as well. By the time she graduated, it had come to a point in her life that she had to choose between me and her fiancé. From her family’s persuasion, she chose her fiancé. It hurt me greatly and I was upset about the whole ordeal for quite some time, but got over it and befriended her again, after she was married. I met her husband and he was actually a pretty stand up guy. About a year passed and her husband turned himself in for child molestation. He went to prison for two years. In that two years, Amber and I got close again, but not romantically. She had decided to stay with her husband and get him some help. Two years later, he was released and life for her seemed to go on. Four months after that, however, he molested again, and went back to jail. This time, Amber relied on me for a shoulder to cry on and I was there for her. She decided this time to get a divorce and I made sure I was there for her.
During this her divorce, she began to have feelings for me once again, this having been 4 years after the first episode. She was my first love so it was easy to return those feelings. This time however, there was nothing holding her back, so she openly loved me. We had made plans to get married, and within two years, have children together. Things were great. Then, suddenly, it was over. No explanation from her. She had met someone else. I was bitter towards her for three years after that, refusing to go anywhere I might run into her. She ended up marrying another marine. Her story, however, ended badly. Her and her new husband, three weeks after the wedding, got in a car accident, and he died. I felt bad for her and I prayed for her. Point being, she hurt me twice, abandoned me twice in my life. I think that is was because of these events, primarily, that I am the ambivalent relationship style. I fear abandonment more than anything; whether that abandonment be voluntary, like Amber’s, or involuntary, such as death.
After having read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, a lot of problems within a marriage stem from a lack of communication, even the communication of love. Other than verbally saying, “I love you,” love is expressed in many ways. As Dr. Chapman points out, in five different ways, by words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, acts of service, and gift giving. It’s explained that each individual naturally speaks at least one primary love language. By this, they express their love to others and receive love from others. Marriages tend to struggle when each spouse speak a different love language. When a husband speaks and receives love in the manner of gift giving, and the wife speaks and receives love by physical touch, communication between the two may be vague. The reason is because although the husband loves his wife, and buys and makes her gifts, she doesn’t feel as loved by this action as she would if he would give her a hug. And even though his wife takes care to hug and kiss and cuddle her husband, he would prefer to get a nice love note or something simple as a gift from his wife to show she was thinking of him. This is what is considered a lack of love communication which can lead to the “four horsemen.” The way to resolve this is for each spouse to learn each other’s love language. The wife would have to learn how to start giving her husband gifts and her husband would have to learn how to start showing his wife physical attention.
There are a few main keys to a successful relationship: God, love, commitment, trust, and communication. All are important, but the two most important are God and communication, without which, none of the others would exist or matter. God is the one who ordained marriage, so a marriage without Him is hollow and pointless. Secondly, a successful marriage, or relationship is based off of good communication. Communication can span in many different areas, such as body language, speech, and actions. Good communication involves a solid understanding of how you feel, what you want, and what you're willing to tolerate. Equally important involved in good communication is the ability to listen. Listening makes up a big portion of communication. However, there is more to listening than just being able to recall what someone said, it's being able to accurately interpret what a person said. There are many things that can hinder the ability or intentions of listening: defensiveness, biases, interruptive habits, and selective attention. If a person is on the defensive about a topic, they're likely not listening to the opposing view, but rather looking for a retort. If a person is bias about a subject, they will likely only ever hear what they want to hear, or interpret what is said differently than what is intended. Also, if a person has an interruptive attitude or habit usually aren't interested in what's being said but are more interested in what he or she wants to say. Lastly, a selective attention is similar to that of a biased person, in that they generally only hear what they want to hear, but the difference is, they only hear certain things not because they want to, but more because their thought process is more frantic, thinking of many different things all at once, conclusively, not giving someone their undivided attention. All of these hindrances can inhibit good communication within a marriage or relationship.
(I found this in the Carteret News Paper. Awesome post.)
"I'm 63 and I’m Tired"
by Robert A. Hall
I'm 63. Except for one semester in college when jobs were scarce and a six-month period when I was between jobs, but job-hunting every day, I've worked, hard, since I was 18. Despite some health challenges, I still put in 50-hour weeks, and haven't called in sick in seven or eight years. I make a good salary, but I didn't inherit my job or my income, and I worked to get where I am. Given the economy, there's no retirement in sight, and I'm tired. Very tired.
I'm tired of being told that I have to "spread the wealth" to people who don't have my work ethic. I'm tired of being told the government will take the money I earned, by force if necessary, and give it to people too lazy to earn it.
I'm tired of being told that I have to pay more taxes to "keep people in their homes." Sure, if they lost their jobs or got sick, I'm willing to help. But if they bought McMansions at three times the price of our paid-off, $250,000 condo, on one-third of my salary, then let the left-wing Congress-critters who passed Fannie and Freddie and the Community Reinvestment Act that created the bubble help them with their own money.
I'm tired of being told how bad America is by left-wing millionaires like Michael Moore, George Soros and Hollywood entertainers who live in luxury because of the opportunities America offers. In thirty years, if they get their way, the United States will have the economy of Zimbabwe, the freedom of the press of China, the crime and violence of Mexico, the tolerance for Christian people of Iran, and the freedom of speech of Venezuela.
I'm tired of being told that Islam is a "Religion of Peace," when every day I can read dozens of stories of Muslim men killing their sisters, wives and daughters for their family "honor"; of Muslims rioting over some slight offense; of Muslims murdering Christian and Jews because they aren't "believers"; of Muslims burning schools for girls; of Muslims stoning teenage rape victims to death for "adultery"; of Muslims mutilating the genitals of little girls; all in the name of Allah, because the Qur'an and Shari'a law tells them to.
I'm tired of being told that "race doesn't matter" in the post-racial world of Obama, when it's all that matters in affirmative action jobs, lower college admission and graduation standards for minorities (harming them the most), government contract set-asides, tolerance for the ghetto culture of violence and fatherless children that hurts minorities more than anyone, and in the appointment of U.S. Senators from Illinois.
I think it's very cool that we have a black president and that a black child is doing her homework at the desk where Lincoln wrote the Emancipation Proclamation. I just wish the black president was Condi Rice, or someone who believes more in freedom and the individual and less arrogantly of an all-knowing government.
I'm tired of a news media that thinks Bush's fundraising and inaugural expenses were obscene, but that think Obama's, at triple the cost, were wonderful; that thinks Bush exercising daily was a waste of presidential time, but Obama exercising is a great example for the public to control weight and stress; that picked over every line of Bush's military records, but never demanded that Kerry release his; that slammed Palin, with two years as governor, for being too inexperienced for VP, but touted Obama with three years as senator as potentially the best president ever. Wonder why people are dropping their subscriptions or switching to Fox News? Get a clue. I didn't vote for Bush in 2000, but the media and Kerry drove me to his camp in 2004.
I'm tired of being told that out of "tolerance for other cultures" we must let Saudi Arabia use our oil money to fund mosques and madrassa Islamic schools to preach hate in America, while no American group is allowed to fund a church, synagogue or religious school in Saudi Arabia to teach love and tolerance.
I'm tired of being told I must lower my living standard to fight global warming, which no one is allowed to debate. My wife and I live in a two-bedroom apartment and carpool together five miles to our jobs. We also own a three-bedroom condo where our daughter and granddaughter live. Our carbon footprint is about 5% of Al Gore's, and if you're greener than Gore, you're green enough.
I'm tired of being told that drug addicts have a disease, and I must help support and treat them, and pay for the damage they do. Did a giant germ rush out of a dark alley, grab them, and stuff white powder up their noses while they tried to fight it off? I don't think Gay people choose to be Gay, but I damn sure think druggies chose to take drugs. And I'm tired of harassment from cool people treating me like a freak when I tell them I never tried marijuana.
I'm tired of illegal aliens being called "undocumented workers," especially the ones who aren't working, but are living on welfare or crime. What's next? Calling drug dealers, "Undocumented Pharmacists"? And, no, I'm not against Hispanics. Most of them are Catholic, and it's been a few hundred years since Catholics wanted to kill me for my religion. I'm willing to fast track for citizenship any Hispanic person, who can speak English, doesn't have a criminal record and who is self-supporting without family on welfare, or who serves honorably for three years in our military.... Those are the citizens we need.
I'm tired of latte liberals and journalists, who would never wear the uniform of the Republic themselves, or let their entitlement-handicapped kids near a recruiting station, trashing our military. They and their kids can sit at home, never having to make split-second decisions under life and death circumstances, and bad mouth better people than themselves. Do bad things happen in war? You bet. Do our troops sometimes misbehave? Sure. Does this compare with the atrocities that were the policy of our enemies for the last fifty years and still are? Not even close. So here's the deal. I'll let myself be subjected to all the humiliation and abuse that was heaped on terrorists at Abu Ghraib or Gitmo, and the critics can let themselves be subject to captivity by the Muslims, who tortured and beheaded Daniel Pearl in Pakistan, or the Muslims who tortured and murdered Marine Lt. Col. William Higgins in Lebanon, or the Muslims who ran the blood-spattered Al Qaeda torture rooms our troops found in Iraq, or the Muslims who cut off the heads of schoolgirls in Indonesia, because the girls were Christian. Then we'll compare notes. British and American soldiers are the only troops in history that civilians came to for help and handouts, instead of hiding from in fear.
I'm tired of people telling me that their party has a corner on virtue and the other party has a corner on corruption. Read the papers; bums are bipartisan. And I'm tired of people telling me we need bipartisanship. I live in Illinois, where the "Illinois Combine" of Democrats has worked to loot the public for years. Not to mention the tax cheats in Obama's cabinet.
I'm tired of hearing wealthy athletes, entertainers and politicians of both parties talking about innocent mistakes, stupid mistakes or youthful mistakes, when we all know they think their only mistake was getting caught. I'm tired of people with a sense of entitlement, rich or poor.
Speaking of poor, I'm tired of hearing people with air-conditioned homes, color TVs and two cars called poor. The majority of Americans didn't have that in 1970, but we didn't know we were "poor." The poverty pimps have to keep changing the definition of poor to keep the dollars flowing.
I'm real tired of people who don't take responsibility for their lives and actions. I'm tired of hearing them blame the government, or discrimination or big-whatever for their problems.
Yes, I'm damn tired. But I'm also glad to be 63. Because, mostly, I'm not going to have to see the world these people are making. I'm just sorry for my granddaughter.
Robert A. Hall is a Marine Vietnam veteran who served five terms in the Massachusetts State Senate.
My grandfather, a decorated Vietnam veteran, has had many health issues throughout his life after the war. As he got older, his health problems progressed, as did his smoking. I'm someone who supports smokers. What I mean by that is, I'm not someone who is against smokers and smoking. I know that smoking is a harmful habit; I've felt this way about smoking even before I started smoking mainly because, all of my family smokes. So, when someone says that people shouldn't be allowed to smoke in certain places, it irks me. Private businesses I understand. I live in North Carolina and they just passed a law that prohibits people from smoking in bars. It also prohibits smoking in any area where food is served. I'm not a bar junkie, I never will be. But I am still against this law. I think it should be up to the bar owners or restaurant owners whether there should be smoking in their store. I'm more for freedom, not socialism/communism.
That being said, my grandfather has smoked nearly his entire life. I've known him to have heart attacks, bypasses, and many other surgeries because of his smoking habit. A few years ago, his leg began to severely hurt him. When the doctors told him that if he didn't quit smoking, he was going to lose his leg, he set into motion a plan to quit smoking. Before his major health problems, my grandfather was in the pre-contemplation stage. Once he had his heart attack and bypass, he entered into the contemplation stage, aware of the problem but unwilling to do anything about it. Then, when he was told he would lose his leg, a fear of his since the war, he quickly and eagerly hopped into the preparation stage. He was given a good deal of advice on how to wane from the cigarette, from smoking less and less every day, to even rearranging his furniture in the house. This would have been the action stage. He actually maintained this and the only ways or times he relapsed was when he would beg someone for just one cigarette or look through the ash tray for unfinished cigarettes. Either way, he did well. Sadly, as time progressed, his leg never got better, it only got worse. A year or so after having initially quit smoking, he had to get his leg amputated. Therefore, my grandfather, a decorated Vietnam veteran, lost his leg to smoking, and regrets every living day he spent with a cigarette in his mouth. Now, when he talks to his children or his grandchildren who smoke, like me, he pleadingly tries to convince them to stop while it's not too late.
Rough around the edges, soft and squishy on the inside. Working to become a better more useful person.
This would be my mixture of theology, philosophy, passions, concerns, and a small pinch of politics. Leave me a comment sometime.
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